The Power of Advocating from the Heart

Advocating for yourself or others can be uncomfortable. I often hear people say they don’t want to seem too pushy, question if their voice can make a difference or are intimidated by not being an ‘expert.’ With all these insecurities running through their head, many people tend to minimize the personal experience, while leaning on facts and data. All while missing out on the power of advocating from the heart. 

Let’s be clear – I recognize many of us advocate out of passion. We are passionate about the impact X has on us and/or our family members. But as we look to share our story, we second guess how much of the personal experience matters. 

Your lived experience matters – a lot! By embracing this experience, you can make a heart connection, which is the most powerful connection of all. 

Make it real

While it’s important to have some stats or hard data, people connect with emotions. So, what are the emotions tied to your advocacy? Are you frustrated by artificial or unnecessary barriers? How does has that frustration impacted your experience? Did it make you want to give up or spur you into action? 

By shining a light on your emotions, you’ll be better able to connect with others who have experienced similar emotions. This helps them be in your shoes versus listening from a distance. 

Personal connection

This is a big one – walk people through your personal experience. Okay, maybe not step-by-step, but zero in on a moment to make it real. 

If you’re advocating for others, try to share their experience, not just yours. This is particularly true for parents and a lesson we need to be reminded to use. 

My son is not old enough to call the school board office and advocate for his needs, so I’m the one doing the advocacy. I recently caught myself relying on the reports and diagnosis to state his case, and forgot to paint the picture of his classroom experience – bringing the data to life. 

So, on my next call, I started the conversation by saying – you have all the reports and data on his needs, but let me explain the difference supports make in his ability to learn. I zeroed in on supportive seating and the noticeable difference it makes at home (where he has it) and school (where it’s missing). All from my son’s experience instead of relying on reports. 

By sharing his experience, not mine, I was personally the need for supports – making it real and urgent. I spoke from the heart to make a human connection.   

Striking a balance

One word of caution. Speaking from the heart doesn’t mean letting the emotions flow and being a hot mess. Having your emotions leading the way, can become another barrier. Rather, it’s about digger deeper into the emotion and painting a picture. 

Instead of screaming and letting your frustration or anger be front and centre, you would say “As I share my experience, it can bring up a lot of emotions. So, if I raise my voice or start to cry, it’s not directed at you, but is unavoidable as this is a hard story to tell.” 

By stating, versus being the emotion, you give permission for people to listen without personalizing the emotions. And this can be the difference between being heard and being ignored. 

Also, when you’re speaking from the heart, don’t forget to bring some of the head into your story. In my case, when I was sharing the importance of supportive seating for my son, I did slip in a few reminders of his diagnosis. “We know that kids with XXX, benefit from supportive seating as it helps take the strain off their body and conserve energy. Here’s the difference it makes in my son.” 

It’s about connecting the dots between the facts and the person. Going beyond the diagnosis and sharing the lived experience. 

Like all communications skills, advocating from the heart takes practice. Instead of winging it and hoping for the best, break down the story you want to tell. What is the heart connection you want to make? How can you connect this to the data, diagnosis or key information you want to share? And finally, how can you make this real so people are inspired to take action? 

Now practice this skill with friends or family members so you have the confidence you need when advocating.