When Exclusion Becomes Normal: Why Schools Must Do More for Students with Disabilities

Do you ever have conversations that haunt you? Where you play what the other person said on a loop in your mind, to the point it becomes a sore you can’t stop picking?

I recently had one of those conversations. A conversation where the person made a flippant remark that hit me hard. A conversation where I wished I had called out the comment instead of letting its audacity blindside me.

The conversation was about a high school student and the subtle, and not so subtle, ways they have been bullied and excluded by their classmates over the years. Going beyond the name calling and talking about this student behind their back, they’ve also had students throw garbage on them and film them during a medical episode, accuse them of faking their disability (which includes the use of a wheelchair), locking them in a classroom, and more.

Having endured years of isolation, this student has come to equate bullying and exclusion as part of the high school experience. While yes, all students likely feel excluded at some point, there’s a different between isolated incidents and consistent, targeted, events.

In my conversation with the educator about the latest incident, that involved a risk to the student’s personal safety, her response was – “In any school there are outliers. There’s only so much a school can do.”

Compliancy vs action

I was gobsmacked that these words came out of a senior administrator at a well-respected school (or it was until this conversation). A school that prides itself in being a Stigma Free Zone. A school that has kindness as a core value – splayed boldly across its website and promo materials.

I firmly believe that schools should always be looking at ways to do more to support its students and staff.

As I write this article during Pride Month, I think of the shift that’s happened over the last 20 years in supporting the LGBTQQ+ community. A shift that has helped these students feel more included. A shift that has also opened important conversations and the recognition that much more needs to be done. And that yes, schools need to do more.

Disability supports

I don’t see the same level of conversation happening for how to be inclusive of students with disabilities or celebrating their uniqueness. I rarely see any mention of February being Inclusive Education Month, and there are no school-wide celebrations for the 1 in 5 students who have a disability.

As a mom of an LGBTQQ+ child, I fully support Pride Month and love how my child has found their community. And I wish that this same understanding of the need to do more would include students with disabilities.  

Too often the outliers this educator mentioned are students with disabilities. There are numerous studies showing how these students are more likely to be bullied, struggle with their mental health and be segregated from their peers. Students with disabilities are 2 to 4x more likely to be bullied than their peers. With 72% of youth with disabilities experiencing higher mental health challenges, more needs to be done.

School administrators and staff need to do more, not shrug their responsibility by saying “there’s only so much a school can do.”

Having real conversations

Studies have also found that social integration is a primary driver of mental health distress, affecting roughly 63% of youth with disabilities. Knowing that 1 in 5 youth have a disability, that means that exclusion, isolation and other forms of bullying are impacting a significant part of the school community.

So why isn’t more being done?

In my experience of parenting a child with disabilities who also struggles with their mental health, I think it’s an uncomfortable conversation. One that many people would rather gloss over than really dig into.

Look at Pink Shirt Day, which is supposed to open conversations about bullying. In all the years my kids have been in school, I’ve never once heard mention of how kids with disabilities are disproportionately bullied. Or heck, even address the fact that this occurs.

My own child was bullied by kids wearing pink shirts on anti-bullying day. And when they reported it to the teacher, it was brushed over.

Schools need to do more.

Leadership requires action

So how do we make schools step up to the plate and fully support students with disabilities? To understand the complexity of the problem instead of just shrugging their shoulders and saying “In any school there are outliers. There’s only so much a school can do.”

I truly wish I had the answer to this question that I’ve been wrestling with for well over a decade. And I know I’m not the only parent, caregiver or advocate struggling to find ways for schools to create safe spaces for students with disabilities and help them feel they’re a valued part of the community.

I think part of the issue is too often people look at the stretches of individuals with disabilities instead of the gifts they bring and their strengths. Attend any IEP meeting and you’ll see what I mean.

We also need to celebrate these gifts. Make Inclusive Education Month a celebration like we do Pride Month. Recognize the contributions people with disabilities have made to society. Honour these strengths instead of focusing on the stretches.

And most importantly, never, ever normalize exclusion and say, “there’s only so much a school can do.” School can and should do more.

Doing more not only helps all students, but also helps create a more inclusive society, one action at a time.